Let's not make disappointment our permanent domain........

These words “it is not healthy to make disappointment our permanent domain” really struck a chord recently. They were written by Pete Greig in his book Dirty Glory - go where your best prayers take you. I am re reading the book as Storm is moving towards being part of 24-7 and I got to the chapter called Blue Camp 20 and found tears in my eyes as I read of a time when Pete just wanted to settle back and let others take the strain……. it really resonated with me and maybe others of you out there……. especially after Covid and everything that we are facing in the world right now. Pioneering is tough and the thought of ‘settling’ and taking less risks does at times feel very appealing……..

Pete writes “most people pioneer at least once in their lives, when they’re young and idealistic and gung-ho to make their mark on the surface of the earth. They start a business, start a band, start a family, move to another town. But gradually the “worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth” constrain the blood-rush of youth. We tame the wild and call it wise. And if we are not careful, before we know it, we find ourselves looking back…….. and shake our heads in amusement at the youthful naivety of it all, we tell the stories again and again and reminisce about the unbridled passions and ambitions that once fired our pristine souls”

We have recently bought a puppy……. my last blog was about the faithful friend that was Winnie…….. now we have the lovely and mad puppy called Vita…….. how she came to us is a bit of a long story and she has brought lots of joy, laughter, anxiety and exhaustion!! Pretty much everyone we speak to or who meets Vita in person says “oh you’re brave getting a puppy”. What they mean ever so nicely is aren’t you too old to be starting again? And in a way they are right, we have finally got our home clean and tidy (within reason) and of course she has been doing a lot of wee-ing and poo-ing in the wrong places, stealing precious items and chewing them, keeping us awake at night etc etc……. and all the things that come with having a new baby!! But I tell you what she is keeping us alive and active and learning new things every day.

The other Monday Mick, Vita and I got up and going much earlier than we would normally do to go and visit a new bluebell site. The friend who recommended it had suggested we got up at sunrise to get the very best photos……. we were not quite that brave but it was early enough for us and we set off maps in hand and puppy in tow. We got lost a few times and had to carry the puppy when she got weary but we were well rewarded for the risk we had taken…… beautiful sights of the Sussex countryside sweeping away to the line of the sea, bluebells in abundances under the luminescent cathedral that is a beech wood and finally a little family of deer nestling in the shade of a line of trees To be fair we were not just going for our own pleasure but scouting out a possible Storm Sunday Stroll…… it seems that even now when we are definitely not as young and fit as we once were the pioneer life will not let us go.

I have struggled to do early mornings since my lovely Dad died………. I am not sure why but it is definitely a thing and so these words of Pete Grieg’s really resonated

“It’s a common human tendency to settle in our grief, to redefine the geography of our lives according to the contours of our pain. And of course, when we are bereaved and hurting, it’s important to stop for a while and lament our loss. It’s not healthy to continue as is nothing is wrong. But neither is it healthy to make disappointment our permanent domain.”

And I struggle physically, mentally, spiritually with continuing with the pioneer work that is Storm….. it is challenging every day even though of course it brings so much joy!!……. just yesterday we had the most fun at Stormie Tots going off up to the moon in cardboard rockets and colander helmets only to come home to a water bill for our premises of over £245……. our first bill there three and a half years ago was £43……… and of course people move on, let you down, leave and it is easy to let “disappointment” become our “permanent domain”.

But here we go…….. deep breath…… keep going…….. keep dreaming……… keep believing…….. keep hoping…… and we are not alone, so many of the bible heroes were elderly if not old men and women who had been through so much stuff good and bad but “kept on keeping on” until they were called home. I re read the story of Moses being called up the mountain to look at the Promised Land in the distance to die there and have God bury him…….. I had always thought that it was sad, that he had never got to the Promised Land but this time reading it I thought how amazing that God showed him what would be built on the foundation of all the work he had done and that tender picture of God coming down to bury him and how amazing that he was still strong enough to climb that mountain himself at the grand old age of 120 years. What an encouragement to keep going, keep taking risks, keep listening to what the Holy Spirit tells us……….. “Let’s not make disappointment our permanent domain”.

Revie G Saturday 27 April 2024